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Times I should've realized I was autistic

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  • Published on May 11, 2022
  • since finishing this video ive been officially diagnosed so ye B)
    more resources:
    - ASD in adults: www.nhs.uk/conditions/autism/...
    - RAADS-R Test: embrace-autism.com/raads-r/#W...
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Comments • 11 953

  • illymation
    illymation  Day ago +8

    hi I’m sorry I didn’t do a good job explaining what I meant when it came to self diagnosis - it is valid and I self-dx’d myself for the longest time because my past therapist (who was not educated on autism at all) refused to have me evaluated because she said I “didn’t look autistic.” I saw a new psych who actually studies autism, and I was properly diagnosed. The point I meant to make was: self diagnosing and faking a disability are two different things that I feel become conflated by others who aren’t in our position - because they have access to diagnostics and doctors who listen. And I only “agree” that self diagnosing is wrong if someone is knowingly faking a disability. I used the fake service dog scenario to illustrate this because this is a common issue my friend in the video experiences way too often: people claiming to need a service dog, so they buy a fake vest online, put it on their untrained pet, and that untrained pet will attack and pick fights with my friend’s service dog, sometimes resulting in her and her actual service dog getting denied service places. This is the behavior I’m against- KNOWINGLY faking a disability; not self diagnosing. Thanks!

  • Hopeless Peaches
    Hopeless Peaches Day ago +7

    I can relate to needing headphones and getting weirded out at specific things. My parents used to keep asking why I needed headphones everywhere I went, but that's because they didn't see that when I was alone walking the dog, or on the train, the sounds of other people or sounds of rustling really got me upset and wanna escape home OOF.

  • LozFanXV
    LozFanXV 19 hours ago +631

    “It felt like the be yourself quote applied to everyone but me.”

  • Not Yoshé
    Not Yoshé 12 hours ago +143

    I’m autistic too, and I’m so glad that I have someone as successful and talented as you to relate to. Autism comes in all shapes and sizes; people make hurtful stereotypes about us like that we’re “retarded,” or “autistic people are dumb.” I have trouble with social interaction a lot, and I tried to do stuff that other people did. Autism isn’t all about not making eye contact or social interaction; autism is all about people who are different and weird in their own way. Honestly, I wouldn’t cure my autism because it’s what makes me special and different. Keep being you, Lily, because anyone who thinks being you isn’t okay, they should definitely get a slap in the face. ❤️

  • sanzoskitten
    sanzoskitten 19 hours ago +70

    I loved this, and also I liked seeing Eda the Owl Lady in the background. I wonder if I'm on the spectrum often but I also don't feel the need for a full diagnosis. I get overwhelmed easily but I grew up with a very understanding family and friends, a couple of which are diagnosed on the spectrum.

  • cookietiger
    cookietiger 19 hours ago +302

    One of my family friends has this "funny" story about me when I was a kid. One time my dad put some ketchup on my plate but he didn't make sure the food was out of the way so the ketchup was touching the food and I started bawling my eyes out and refused to eat it. My dad had to wipe the ketchup off my plate and redo it properly. My family friend always tells this story as if it's soooo funny but it's always made me so uncomfortable. Only this year did I figure out that I'm autistic and that this funny situation was an actual sensory problem, one of many sensory things that I continue to struggle with.

  • translinuxcat
    translinuxcat 12 hours ago +35

    as a white girl who was perceived as male by herself and everyone around her for 14 years of her life before her egg cracked, obviously i dont relate to the experiences of others, but since my autism was never talked abuot that much (i forgot i had it until i was 11 years old) i've had this weird self discovery of "oh that's an autism thing? that's another autism thing? that's an adhd thing? how many things in my life was related to this???" neurodivergence is truly a life long neil cicierega, you dont know it by name, but it's responsible for literally everything you remember

  • Whatever
    Whatever Day ago +12

    Important note. The things that people see as autistic and are the main diagnostic criteria are the things that happen when autistic people are overwhelmed and unhappy. Those "symptoms" go away when they are able to communicate, cope, and are happy.

  • Jclaypotch
    Jclaypotch 19 hours ago +105

    I have autism... The main thing that really bothered me was how everyone thought of you. I don't remember getting picked on often but I do remember sitting there alone almost through the whole day in school.. also got followed around by this teacher through classes for being labeled special needs.. Also trying to talk to people and getting ignored. That's why I became the quite kid basically.. I hated the fact of that label. Growing up. You cant forget those moments. Always stick at the back of your mind.

  • Aurora Sheep
    Aurora Sheep 19 hours ago +76

    I thought i was alone on the whole "forced to wear jeans" thing. I also recently found out I'm autistic, and looking back there were a lot of missed signs that i was. One of them was that. I remember up until like 3-4th grade never wanting to wear jeans cause they were so uncomfy, and when my parents finally started forcing me to wear them everyday instead of gym pants i cried for an hour and got yelled at for it. Even to this day i hate it. Yeah, I'll wear them on occasion to look nice cause it was basically beat into my head as a kid that appearance means everything, but the whole time I'll feel so uncomfortable and almost like itchy, and want them off as soon as I'm home. I very rarely wear them anymore and just wear what i feel comfy in when i finally moved out

  • Harper Woods
    Harper Woods 9 hours ago +23

    Hey illy, I just wanted to tell you, with the autism spectrum, it is actually alright to self diagnose as you know your mind better than some random doctors, as long as you do some research and you talk to a parent/guardian, I think it’s completely fine to self diagnose :)

  • Meg on Cloud9
    Meg on Cloud9 7 hours ago +18

    “All they see is the hyper, over- talkative and forgetful kid who for once Is sat still and quiet”- I FELT THAT SO MUCH- I have and probably always will be an excessive talker, I am actually hyperverbal and when I’m overwhelmed go hyperverbal sometimes (which means i essentially speed up and physically can not stop talking or have to force myself to stop talking- talking is a stim for me too. But it feels like I’m on a runaway train and I’m about to crash but I also can not stop talking and it’s exhausting. I have also gone non-verbal too at times but I mostly go hyperverbal. But yeah I didn’t think I could be autistic because I am “good at socialising” - yeah turns out jumping in (and interrupting people) rambling and talking AT people because I don’t need them to talk back I just need to talk, missing every social cue there is to miss (and even when I picked them up didn’t understand- or I know what they are I just don’t know why or how to process it. It’s a little more complex but yeah not getting social cues verbal and non- verbal is a big issue) being either way “too loud” or “too quiet” (because idk what the appropriate volume is nor can I control it) is not actually socialising 😂- and I am in fact not good at it. I talk a lot. But not good at Linear conversation flow where I have to read a bunch of social cues that i don’t understand and am expected to know and also expected to make eye contact and everything else.

  • Ronald Bearer
    Ronald Bearer 16 hours ago +66

    Love this. Sometimes I feel like I won the autistic lottery. My “autistic passion” is psychology and it has turned me into an incredible masker. I keep wondering if I ever do something worthy of notice will we atypicals see it as we Can fit in or that we Have to fit in to succeed

  • 🎗 ordinary extraordinary 🎗

    i heard someone tell a girl with asd, “well, you don’t ACT autistic” and she just went, “Oh sorry! One second.” and then started hitting her head while listing off train facts. 10/10 response

  • CoronaFetish
    CoronaFetish 4 hours ago +6

    this makes... a lot of sense, like actually, I knew there was a spectrum but I didn't know that the spectrum of autism varied that much. Also I'm like 90% sure I have ADHD, but I don't want to self diagnose until a therapist or someone actually confirms it. (PS) I also hate washing dishes, it just makes me wanna freak out, so your not alone on that one :D

  • yemiravity
    yemiravity 2 hours ago +2

    Hey, I'm not gonna get all sappy and tell my life story here, but I'd just like to say thank you so much for making this video. It really means a lot to me.

  • No U
    No U 4 hours ago +4

    I'm sitting here in absolute shock because I've never heard of someone having such similar symptoms to me. Being terrified of flushing toilets, especially automatic ones, affects me to this day. Being terrified by loud noises, too. Guess who's going to finally email her doctor about getting evaluated :))

  • Will Loves Gaming
    Will Loves Gaming 19 hours ago +35

    As someone who has autism who has extreme sensitivity to sounds, this is a really good way to explain how and what autism is. Keep up the work! :)

  • Blaze Wadley
    Blaze Wadley 4 hours ago +3

    Omg this is so relatable, I am more on the "high functioning" part of the autism spectrum(also have adhd and anxiety) and most people think I'm just weird. Knowing that I'm not the only one with these issues feels nice.

  • Vixy
    Vixy Day ago +1

    “It’s like the